Instinct
by CRAmber
Summary: Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy have both closed up since the war, even to their best friends. But after many sleepless nights, an unexpected late-night meeting in the Astronomy tower, and some words neither had felt they could tell anyone, can these once-enemies put aside their differences and help change each other for the better? Post-War Hogwarts, DM/HG
1. Chapter 1

After the Second Wizarding War, Hermione Granger closed up. She began to inadvertently find as much time as possible to be on her own. Harry and Ron were worried and tried to help as much as they could, until she finally ended up pushing them away, just as she had done to everyone else. She was desperate for space and time alone. Dark memories, nightmares, and panic attacks haunted her. She would wake up in the middle of the night, screaming. She would start at any loud noises. She felt like she couldn't trust anyone anymore, even her best friends. She was just so lost, so far from who she was, almost unrecognizable even to herself. Her hands were nearly always shaking; she found it hard to eat some times. Sleep evaded her this late night, as it had many nights before, so she snuck up to the Astronomy Tower. She found solace in the night sky, filled with stars that she named off in her head as she stared up at them. Suddenly, something snapped her attention away from her thoughts, a footstep or scuffling noise. Her wand was in her shaking hand, pointed in the direction in an instant. "W-Who's there?"

"Granger? is that you?" Draco asked, silently cursing himself for not thinking that someone else might be up here. He lowered his wand, but didn't put it away, unsure of how the Gryffindor girl would react as he stepped out to where she could see him.

Hermione gulped, recognizing his voice and his striking blond hair as soon as he stepped into view of the moonlight. "Malfoy, what are you doing up here?" She asked , trying her best to be as polite as she could in her tired and weak state, but it wasn't much. She lowered her wand, but just as he had, didn't put it away.

"Same as you, I assume. Can't sleep," he shrugged, taking a few steps into the room, and surprising himself with how calm he was at seeing Granger for the first time since the war. "I'm totally screwed for potions tomorrow, I haven't even started Snape's essay because I cant concentrate on anything."

"I've only barely started mine," she admitted, feeling suddenly ashamed, and she braced herself for him to mock her about how in-tune with her studies she had previously been. Her eyes lowered sheepishly and she stared at her feet, a bit uncomfortable under his stare. "Why are you here, anyway?"

For some reason, Draco let down his guard. He didn't feel wrong telling Hermione what he was about to tell her. "I've always liked the stars. They just sit up in the sky. They can't betray me or call me names or get inside my head. They're here for me at night when no one else is," he explained, walking farther into the tower and looking up as he spoke.

Hermione looked up too, but at him rather than the stars, taking in his high cheekbones, hollow cheeks, and seemingly permanent sullen expression. "Really?" She asked in what could barely be considered a whisper before biting her lip and speaking up. "I used to like the stars too, but lately.. It's like they've started to turn on me... There are a couple that I'm even afraid of," She admitted, probably knowing that he didn't quite get what she meant, so she readied herself to explain further.

"Afraid of?" he asked incredulously, taking her statement as a joke. But when he looked at her, an expression of mingled hurt and sadness on her face, he revised his statement. "What exactly do you mean by that?" His voice was much softer with his second words, hoping she would still respond. He kept his eyes trained on her face, taking a seat on a bench a few feet away from her.

She and leaned against the railing and looked up at the sky again. "See that star?" she asked, pointing up, "The middle star in the constellation Orion. It's proper name is Gamma Orionis. Third brightest star in the constellation, 27th in the whole night sky..." She paused, afraid to continue as her hands began to shake and she dropped them back to her side, balled into fists so as to not show her weakness.

"Still a know-it-all, I see," Draco commented, but flashed the tiniest of smiles to show her he wasn't trying to be mean. "But what does that have to do with what you said before, about being afraid?" he prompted gently, honestly curious about what she would say.

She dropped her head and slumped her shoulders staring at her shoes. "That star, Malfoy.. It's mainly known as Bellatrix. That's it's name. Your family uses tons of stars as names. Sirius, brightest star in the night sky. Regulus, brightest star in the constellation Leo... There's a couple with Draco in them too, well, Draconis, actually. I-I loved the stars...until the war," she paused. "Now, just hearing their names haunts me with memories."

"Oh... wow, I never thought of that... And actually, I understand. A lot of the people I was once fighting with are now my enemies, so I guess I feel kind of the same way you do... You have to realize I'm on your side, Granger. Please tell me you realize that..." he pleaded, a look of desperation in his eyes.

She took a deep breath, wiping her eyes before looking up at him, the exhaustion of many sleepless nights clear on her face. "I understand that you want to change, and yes, maybe you're not associating with Voldemort and the Death Eaters anymore, but.. you've done a lot to many people, things that you might not have even realized... me especially."

"I know Hermione and I-" he rushed out quickly, standing up and starting towards her before realizing he had called her by her first name. "Sorry, I... is it okay if I call you Hermione? I figure it's just one step further away from mu- mud... you know." he said, stopping to stand in the middle of the space and looking up at the stars again.

Hermione let out a shuddering breath and shrugged weakly. "Go ahead," She said softly, looking anywhere but at him. "It's better than mudblood," She spat coldly. "Anything's better than Golden Girl or whatever else they've been calling me in the Daily Prophet."

Encouraged by her words, he took a couple steps closer and continued. "Listen, Her- Hermione. I know I've made mistakes. I know I've done some terrible things. And I know that whatever good things I do can never make up for the bad. Just remember that I have done good things. Things that prove that I'm not all bad. I'm still working on it, still sorting myself out. But I'm trying. Godric, I'm trying so hard. I want to make things right. And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for everything I ever did wrong," he told her quietly, running a hand through his already messy hair and letting out a sigh.

She felt tears in her eyes, but they didn't run down her cheeks. It was almost as if she was too exhausted to really cry, which could be possible. Hermione then looked up at him and into his smoky gray eyes, finding that they were red-rimmed. "I believe you... I understand that you are trying, and of course that's good, but... but I just don't know if I'm capable of forgiving you right now." There was so much anguish and despair locked up inside of her that she wasn't even capable of forgiving Ron when he spilled her ink bottle that morning.

"Okay," he whispered, her words like a stab in his chest. He paused for a moment before speaking again, his words eerily calm and measured. "I understand. I don't expect you to be able to forgive me right now. Hell, I probably wouldn't forgive me. But I hope you can someday. And if you do, let me know, okay, Gra- Hermione?" he asked, managing a small smile before slowly beginning to walk towards the doorway to leave.

"Wait." She called to stop him, a desperate look in her eyes. "Y-You don't have to go." In truth, she had felt better after admitting her fear to him, and even a bit better when he apologized, though she hadn't forgiven him yet. Aside from that, she had been by herself so much recently that it felt nice to have someone there to talk to.

"Really?" he asked, turning around. "Thank Merlin. It's actually been really nice having someone to talk to," he admitted, coming back into the room and sitting down on the bench next to her, only a couple feet away.

She bit her lip and slowly walked over as well, sitting beside him. "It has been.. nice. I haven't really felt like I could talk to anyone since the war," she told him.

"Right? I feel like I can't even talk to my friends about it. Even though I know they've been through something similar, I feel like they won't understand. But for some reason, you do. And it's almost refreshing to not be forgiven so easily,"

It was almost like he was reading her thoughts, the way he spoke. "Yeah.. that's exactly how I feel. I know Harry and Ron would listen, but I don't think they feel like I do," She said, turning to look at him.

He hadn't realized there was anyone who felt the same way he did. "How... how do you get me so well? We've been on different sides for most of our lives, we've hated each other practically since we met, and yet, you understand me like no one else does. It's... it's incredible, really." he said honestly.

"I don't know.. I guess we're just more similar than we thought." She said with a light shrug, but she was just as confused as he was.

He smiled down at her. "Well, Gra- Hermione, thanks to you, I think I might actually be able to get some sleep in now. This was nice, we should do it again sometime," he offered, standing up and putting his wand in his pocket.

Hermione stayed seated and gave him a small smile. "You're welcome.. Draco." She said he goodbye and his name in what was almost a whisper, almost like she was afraid to say it. And when she looked up at him ready to leave, she felt a pang of something she eventually recognized as sadness. "I'll see you in classes tomorrow?"

"Sure," he nodded. "Goodnight, Hermione... sweet dreams," he added, almost as an afterthought, trying his best to make her forgive him.

"W-wait.." She called to stop him again. "Draco, I can't sleep. I haven't in days." Hermione admitted. "And I don't know what to do. I've tried sleeping potions, but they still don't stop the nightmares. Sometimes I get them even with dreamless sleep potions."

He stopped in his tracks, thinking for a moment before turning around. "Sounds a lot like that bloody bastard who calls himself my father," he spat, scowling. "He used sleeping potions, but added something to them, to stop nightmares. I don't know what it was that he added, but I've got a vial of it left in my trunk, if you'd like it. Why don't you come with me to get it?"

"In your common room?" She asked nervously "Will everyone be asleep?"

"Hermione, it's nearly one am. of course they will. But don't worry about it if they aren't, Blaise and some of the others bring people from other houses in all the time. No one really minds anymore." He said gently.

"Okay, I guess it can't be too bad," She offered hesitantly before standing up. "I'll follow you, so lead the way."

"Alright, come on," he said, confidently beginning to lead her down the hallways he had traveled so many times. "Man, it's dark down here, lumos," he said, illuminating his wand tip so they could see. "Shit, nox," he said quickly to put out the light on seeing Mrs. Norris. "Can you still tell where I am?" he whispered, stopping to squint back at where she should be. She walked straight into him, causing him to chuckle a bit. "Guess not," he said. "Here," he whispered again, reaching down for her hand to lead the way.

Hermione flinched when he touched her hand. For a moment she hesitated, then gripped his hand, reminding herself that she needed the potion he had. "I'm surprised I couldn't actually, since you're hair is about as white as the moon itself." She muttered lightheartedly as he continued to lead her down the dungeon hallways.

"Hey, my hair is amazing!" he joked back, smiling as they reached the entrance to the Slytherin common room. "Dragon Heartstring," he said to the portrait, which swung open for them to enter.

Hermione followed him inside, able to see a bit better since the burning embers in the fireplace gave the room a dim sort of light. "Which way is your room?" she asked.

"Down that hallway," he pointed with his free hand, pulling her in the right direction and opening the third door down. He let go of her hand when he knelt down to open his trunk, wishing he was still holding it. "It's okay, Blaise isn't here right now so you can talk," he told her, pulling out the potion and giving it to her. "It'll still let you dream, it just blocks out the nightmares."

Hermione took the vial in her now shaking hands and stared at it intently, hoping almost against hope that it would work. "Th-Thank you."

"No problem," he said, sitting down on his bed. "You alright? You know, you could stay here tonight if you like. You could sleep in Blaise's bed, or there's always room in mine. And no, I don't mean it like that, I just mean if you want the company," he offered.

She blushed what she was sure was a very deep red and was immediately grateful for the low light that hopefully concealed it. "I don't think that would be wise.. In the morning, I'd have to go through your common room, everyone would stare at me and you'd get questions too," Hermione said, but quickly continued. "Although Ginny's gotten tired of me waking her every night, she's just too kind to say it."

"So you'll stay, then? I've gotten fairly good at disillusionment charms, I can keep you invisible long enough to get you out of the common room. Besides, I told you no one cares if people from other houses are here. And I really would like the company,"

She bit her lip and nodded before lifting the vial to her lips and drinking it quickly, before she had the chance to change her mind. "Well, I can't exactly walk back to my common room now that I've drunk this, so I guess I have to stay."

"Lucky me," he smiled, patting the spot next to him on his bed for her to sit down. "It should kick in in about 10 minutes, just like a normal sleeping potion,"

Hermione nodded and pulled off her robe, leaving her in her school uniform before sitting beside him and yawning already. "Thank you again.. I really hope this works."

"It's really no problem, Hermione. You're not going to sleep in your school clothes, are you? Here, you can wear this," he said, pulling out a green t-shirt from his trunk that would be about three sizes too big for her.

She looked up, blinked at him in an exhausted sort of way, then stood back up. "Okay, but don't look," she said, taking the shirt and walking towards the other side of the room, turning her back to him.

Draco obliged, turning around and looking out his window. At a different time, he might have watched, but right after the war, he knew she wouldn't be in the mood to be tested. And frankly, she was the first girl whom he had enough respect for not to look.

After getting undressed and redressed in his oversized shirt, she turned back around. "Okay," Hermione said to him before crossing the room again and crawling into his bed.

Draco had kicked off his shoes and was now removing his crisp white button-down shirt, leaving himself in just his boxers as he too got into the bed. "Goodnight, Hermione." he whispered, keeping a respectable distance from her unless she indicated that she wanted otherwise.

Hermione pulled the blankets over her, pulling them up to her chin before curling her knees up to her chest. "Goodnight... Draco," She murmured.

Draco rolled onto his side, facing Hermione's back and studying her curls as he listened to her breathing becoming more steady. Eventually, he too closed his eyes, willing sleep to come to him.

Hermione fell asleep quickly, subconsciously moving closer to him during the cold night. It was the best she had been able to sleep since before the start of the war.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Yes, Snape is alive. You don't need to tell me that he died. I'm aware. However, in my story, he did not die, thus, he is alive and still teaching potions at Hogwarts.**

Draco woke up early the next morning, feeling strangely warm. He blinked his eyes open and realized he had his arms wrapped around a girl. A girl with big, brown, bushy hair. Then the events of last night came flooding back. He remembered their discussion, ending with her asleep in his bed. He certainly wouldn't mind waking up like this every morning, but brought his arms back towards himself, deciding it would be best for her not to wake up thinking she had been kidnapped or restrained.

Hermione stirred and stretched her legs, freezing when they brushed another pair. She opened her eyes, a scream on the tip of her tongue, but stopped and breathed a sigh of relief when she met his eyes and remembered the events of the previous night. For a moment she stayed like that, staring into his eyes in a dazed sort of way, before blushing and shifting to sit up, dropping her gaze. "Erm.. good morning." She said in a tired voice.

"Morning, Hermione," He replied, sitting up as well. "You seem to have slept well, I don't remember waking up to you screaming in my ear," he joked. "I take it the potion worked, then?" Draco ran a hand through his messy hair, still not taking his eyes off of his companion.

She blinked up at him drowsily before responding, "I slept... great, actually." She let out a little relieved laugh, smiling happily to herself before a glance at Draco's smile sent her into a fit of giggles. "Wow, it's been so long. I can't believe it," She said breathlessly when her giggles subsided.

Draco had begun to laugh as well, only stopping when she did. Her laugh was contagious, and despite how much he hated mornings, he knew this was going to be a good one. "That's great, Hermione, that's... really great. The only problem is, I haven't got any more. Do you suppose Snape would know what the extra ingredient is?" he asked, hoping he wouldn't spoil the mood.

Hermione nodded and reached over to grab the empty vial that was sitting on the night stand. There was a small amount left on the bottom. "I'm sure he'll be able to extract it from this and figure it out. Will you come with me to ask him? He doesn't like me much," she muttered.

"It's only because you know everything and he's mad that he can't take points away from Gryffindor when no one knows the answer because you _always_ do," He joked, nudging her with his shoulder before he stood up and began to get dressed. "But of course I'll come with you. Although I'm not exactly sure if he's really too fond of me after the war."

"I'm not too sure he's fond of anyone," Hermione said with a small laugh as she pushed back the blankets and stood up. There on top of the chair that she had left her uniform on was a clean uniform, folded neatly. "Looks like to nothing slips past the house elves. Do they always do something like that when someone's outside their own dorm?"

"Actually, I did that. Don't worry, it wasn't too much work, just a little magic while you were asleep this morning and there you go: clean clothes. Besides, I don't think the house elves work past dinnertime anymore, thanks to you and SPEW," he told her, chuckling as he buttoned up his shirt. "I'm surprised Blaise didn't come back at all last night. Although now that I think about it, he has been getting pretty cozy with that one Ravenclaw girl, what's her name? Lovegood? He was probably off with her."

"Luna, really? Huh, that's different," she said with a smile. "But I'm happy that she's found someone." Hermione walked over and grabbed her clothes, saying a quick thank you before beginning to change. "I always thought Slytherin dated in their own house."

"So did I. I guess the war's changed all of us, eh?" he shook his head as he walked to his mirror and began to tie his green and silver tie. "Still want me to use that disillusionment charm? Or do you want to just walk out? There's probably not very many people up yet,"

"I guess not, it'll probably be fine." She said with a small shrug as she tied her own tie before pulling on her robe.

Draco nodded, grabbing his robe and his wand before heading out of his dorm and into the common room, Hermione close behind him. Looking around, he saw only a few people in the common room. Many of them were looking at Hermione, but one glance at the look on Draco's face and then knew not to say anything.

Hermione stayed close behind him and kept her head down, ignoring the stares and whispers and wanting nothing more than to reach out and take his hand. Once they were out of the common room she breathed a sigh of relief and looked up at him. "Thank you.. for everything, Draco," she said quietly.

"Why do you have to do that?" he asked sharply, turning around to face her. He almost felt bad at how taken aback she looked, but continued. "Why do you have to keep thanking me? It makes it seem like I'm being nice or something. I don't do nice," he snarled, turning on his heel to continue walking down the hallway. After a few paces, he stopped again, realizing she hadn't started to walk with him. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I didn't mean that. I just haven't gotten everything my father said to me out of my head yet. Sometimes I still think like him. And I hate that. Merlin, I hate that. I really am sorry, you know, I'm trying to change this. I'm trying to fix this," he spoke softly, walking back to where Hermione had frozen at the end of the hallway.

Hermione was startled completely still, her mouth slightly open. After he apologized ,she opened her mouth to speak her words seemed to tumble from her lips as though she could do nothing to stop them. "What the hell? Hold on, you've been nice and friendly enough to let me sleep in your bed but because I said _thank you_ you turn around and yell at me? What- what the hell is this? Because if it's going to happen again, I need to know to brace myself for your emotional whiplash." She huffed, crossing her arms and staring at him with narrowed eyes.

Draco opened his mouth, an angry retort on the tip of his tongue, but something stopped him. "I- I don't know, Gra- Hermione. I'm sorry. I told you, it's everything my father always said to me. I lived with the man for 16 years, things kinda rub off on you. You know I'm trying to change and be a better person, and being nice to you is going to help me do that. I didn't expect myself to say that, I didn't want to say that. It just came out. It's like instinct to me. It takes a while to change instinct. But I'm willing to try, I just need someone who's willing to help me," he said, doing his best to keep his voice quiet and steady, however, he kept his gaze trained on the ground, not willing to risk looking at her just yet.

Hermione sighed heavily and rubbed her hands over her face. "It's... alright. I understand I guess, she said, running a hand through her hair.

"Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He rushed out quickly, and before he knew what he was doing, he had bridged the distance between them and wrapped her in an embrace.

Hermione gasped at his sudden movement but slowly managed to hug him back too and even laughed softly. "You're welcome," she told him, smiling at how happy he was with her forgiveness.

Draco smiled. A real smile. For the first time since the war, he felt... peaceful. After a moment, he released his grasp on his companion. "Shall we go get that potion figured out then?" he asked, clearly in a much better mood.

Hermione was reluctant to let go for a moment, but upon realizing she was blushing, she did so. "Right, yeah. Let's go," she said, clutching the nearly empty vial in her hand.

Draco led the familiar way to his Head of House's office, knocking lightly on the door with the back of his hand. He took a step back waiting for the answer. "Come in," a faint voice called, obviously belonging to Professor Snape. Draco followed Snape's instructions, opening the door and allowing Hermione to enter before him.

Hermione gingerly took a couple steps into the dimly lit room and looked around. "Good morning professor. Sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if you could help us with something," she asked rather timidly, looking back at Draco for support.

Draco nodded, offering Hermione a slight smile. "Professor, you see, both of us have been having nightmares, and we've just finished off by last vial of sleeping potion. Now, my father added something to it, to block out nightmares, but neither of us are sure what it was. I thought maybe you might know, or at least could figure out what it was from the last of this," he explained, taking the vial out of Hermione's hand and walking forward to hand it to the professor.

Snape eyed them both closely, his hands folded under his chin until Draco held out the vial. He took it and stood up. "I see.." he muttered. "And why is it that you wish to share your potion with miss Granger?" he asked Draco as he examined the vial and sniffed it, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. After a moment, he walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a vial of clear liquid that he poured the drops of sleeping potion into. Snape then looked up, waiting for Draco's response.

"We've uh... found that we have some similarities," Draco managed to get out. "The war left us in similar situations. Parentless and unable to sleep," he spat, his tone suddenly cold again and his eyes narrowed with disgust for his father.

Hermione felt the need then to reach out and take his hand, but she didn't for fear of his reaction.  
Snape gave them another look before simply nodding. "The extra ingredient is nightlock. A poison when ingested alone, but when added to the ingredients in the sleeping potion it dilutes the poisonous factors and instead dulls the mind in sleep so immensely that it numbs the cognitive functions of the brain that induce dreams or nightmares," he explained dully. "But being nightlock as powerful as it is, a very small amount goes further than one would expect." Snape walked back over to his desk and grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill and began to write. "Tell professor Sprout that I require nightlock for my next lesson and she will give you the amount you need. Then run along to Hogsmeade, you can give Mr. Filch this note," he said, writing another note on a piece of parchment, "and buy some sleeping potions so you aren't making them yourselves. Despite you both being my top students, it would be unwise for either of you to make such a delicate potion in your sleep deprived states."

Draco nodded once and he saw Hermione do the same. "Thank you, professor," Draco managed in a rather sullen tone, turning towards the door and glancing back at Hermione to ensure that she was following him. "Looks like breakfast has already started, want to meet in the great hall at the start of break to go buy the sleeping potion?" he asked, pausing outside the great hall so that too many people wouldn't see them together even though they weren't _together_.

Hermione nodded and gave him a small smile. "Yes, that sounds good. I'll have to stop by my common room first to get my change purse."

"Oh, don't worry about it, I can pay. I've got more money than can possibly be good for me since... well, you know. And there's nothing I'd rather do with it than help someone else for once. Okay?" he asked, hardly realizing how uncharacteristically kind he was being.

"Oh, you really don't have to do that, I'm fine paying for my own," she insisted.

"No, please, let me. I'm trying to be better, remember? And besides, I don't want to be that stupid rich kid anymore." he defended quickly.

"Well, if you're sure-" she began.

"I am," he said quickly.

"Alright then, see you during break," she said cheerfully, turning to enter the great hall.

"Bye Hermione," he called after her, standing where he was for another moment before going in, looking forward to a second meeting with the Gryffindor Princess later that day.


End file.
